Fated to love you – Ep 17 – Thoughts and discussion

Posted on August 27, 2014 by | 54 Comments

Let the feels flow my friends!

I’ll come back as soon as I finish watching the episode

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54 responses to “Fated to love you – Ep 17 – Thoughts and discussion”

  1. sable | August 28, 2014 at 5:39 pm | Reply

    I am not an expert in Korean way of life, but its a pretty door open to that society may be films are better, more realistic than k dramas.
    They dont love food they are all the time drinking and eating and its real because I know a
    spanish teacher, who lived there, and she could reassure it.
    But the fact about the mother being a mute viewer around Gumie and Kim ming young,story havent been argued here, and I think is irreal and a waste of talent the scene would be terrific but they have chosen doing agonic circles .

  2. sable | August 28, 2014 at 10:38 am | Reply

    Ok I go on loving them, although I dont expect everything were wonderland city but it would have been better not fulfill episodes may be 18 and less never ending useless hesitations…
    Her mother deserved a deep talk with him going to the point,this part is not real a mother always irrupt into her daughter,s life and in Korea much more than in western countries because they are the italians of Asia
    La familia.. godmother.

    • Curioser and Curiosor | August 28, 2014 at 3:39 pm | Reply

      in Korea … they are the italians of Asia

      This is a pretty wonderful cultural analogy. Now that you mention it, I can see it!

      • Drama Fan | August 28, 2014 at 3:52 pm | Reply

        Is it because of the passion? The love for food? Hehe In that case they could fit in the latin american stereoytpe too. Still, I feel a bit uncomfortable thinking I can speak of korean society based on kdramas. I personally feel that in order to really know I would have to study it seriously and even live in Korea. Although I learn something new every day through my friendship with Gumi.

  3. chubbydimpledmuffin | August 28, 2014 at 8:13 am | Reply

    I’ve been silently reading all the comments and nodding my head in agreement for the past couple of weeks. I don’t have much depth to add. I’m so appreciative to the writers for the respect and integrity that they’ve kept with Gun and Mi Young. This couple have remained true to who they are and every action taken by them especially Gun has been properly dissected and shown in a simple but impactful way.

    Ever since the balcony scene in Macau I’ve felt like a close friend, a mother or an omniscient figure watching over these two people. Above the awesome work that the writers and the crew have done, my feelings are a testament to how well Jang Hyuk and Jang Na Ra have understood LG and MY. It’s been so delightful and I’ve received their efforts with an open heart.

    That feels good to write that out! I’ve been itching to do this for weeks.

    • youholdthewater | August 28, 2014 at 12:13 pm | Reply

      I love that you bring up the Macau balcony scene as a pivotal moment for you. Because it’s been 17-18 episodes now, and that scene is still cemented as my favourite OTP moment (possibly of the whole show, at this point). When I first saw it I just KNEW that I was witnessing something special – special purely in its simplicity, of watching two kindred spirits connecting. Especially when the rest of the episode was so whack, and so breathlessly-paced, and the sequence on the balcony was just a wonderfully understated and human way to stop, and breathe, and process, and fall in love with our two leads before they fall in love with each other.
      I just have SO MANY EMOTIONS about the Macau balcony.

      And I’m glad you took the plunge to comment today 🙂 Don’t worry about needing to sound smart or insightful – I worry about that too. The important thing is just to ~feel~ all the feelings and share them with like-minded people. Hope to see more of you over the next week, and the final two episodes!

      • Noble_ood | August 28, 2014 at 3:14 pm | Reply

        Same here ! I had already established my love for FTLY by episode 1, but after the balcony scene, I thought : “This is it. This is my favorite KDrama, my favorite couple, my favorite moment.” In fact, I owe my extreme Gun bias to that scene. There was no skinship or hair blowing in the wind with feelings sparking for no reason (cf. Heirs). There were two people with hearts of gold, sharing what is supposed to be their first and last intimate conversation, and their parting was not effortless, because their souls had already been bound together.

        And like you, pals, I find the switch from cute to heartbreaking very appealing. In that way, the pace makes sense too. Some people call it a failed romcom, but I think this is romcom at its best. It’s lifelike even when it’s crazy, it’s heartfelt and truly memorable. Yes, we could watch the Jangs be happy and lovey dovey forever, but that’s not how life works.

      • youholdthewater | August 28, 2014 at 5:21 pm | Reply

        — ‘but after the balcony scene, I thought : “This is it. This is my favorite KDrama, my favorite couple, my favorite moment.”’

        THIS. THIS. This was EXACTLY my thought process when I watched that scene. I was just kind of sitting there going, “I found it. This is it. This is the romantic comedy I’ve been waiting for my entire life and I never even knew it. This is ride or die”. I am so happy other people have the same feelings about the Macau balcony.

        And I’ve never watched Heirs but I totally get what you mean here. It all goes back to the one thing I’ve been saying about FTLY since the beginning – that behind the candy colours and zany characters and OTT situations are real people, real emotions. I think there’s also an interview somewhere where Jang Hyuk calls it a very “human/humane” drama? He knew what he was talking about. It seems so floaty and fairy tale-esque on the surface, but the characters are so fully-realized and so grounded in who they are. These people are never (and have yet to) behave or make decisions or react in ways that we’re conditioned to expect from your typical kdrama character.

        And re: FTLY is a failed romcom, I agree with you SO much. To be honest, ALL romcoms – including Hollywood ones – will have a phase of conflict – separation -reunion. Nothing stays cute and delightful forever. If it’s the length or the pace of the angst you have an issue with, sure, I can see where you’re coming from. But to expect NOTHING dark or heavy or difficult whatsoever? That’s just setting yourself up for disappointment. The point of the conflict-separation is for the couple to sort out their priorities, realize the fact that they’re meant for each other, and then decide to do whatever it takes to keep the other person in their lives. The strife and suffering needs to be there to show us that love has been fought for and earned. You could give me 20 episodes of Geon and Mi Young being cute and impossibly adorable, but I would come away from the show with a much more shallow and meaningless experience.

      • chubbydimpledmuffin | August 28, 2014 at 8:53 pm | Reply

        “When I first saw it I just KNEW that I was witnessing something special – special purely in its simplicity, of watching two kindred spirits connecting.” THIS
        And ” There was no skinship or hair blowing in the wind with feelings sparking for no reason (cf. Heirs). There were two people with hearts of gold, sharing what is supposed to be their first and last intimate conversation, and their parting was not effortless, because their souls had already been bound together.” THIS! These two thoughts came to mind when I was watching it.

        Thank you so much youholdthewater. I’ll be sure to share when the feels take over.

      • fiveinone | August 28, 2014 at 10:52 pm | Reply

        Re: the failed Rom-com part, I can’t find it more ironic than this. It’s a failure because there’s no more fun scenes and that it dealt with more melodrama parts. But isn’t what what romance is? Romance is not just candy sweet nothings all the time, it can also be filled with times when your heart is squeezed out of its normal proportions. I feel like people focus on the comedy and forgot that the core of a Rom-com is the romance. Well.. to conclude, I’m so happy that episode 18 is the light at the end of the tunnel we are all waiting for.. that’s so romantic, because it’s all about finding each other in the end.. (:

  4. Melinda | August 28, 2014 at 7:07 am | Reply

    sorry about the typos

  5. Melinda | August 28, 2014 at 7:04 am | Reply

    I love this drama. I probably cannot even begin to express just how much it has affected me. I am so thankful we can observe the depth of love that Gun and Kim Young truly have for each other and how it is being beautifully being portrayed in this drama’s storyline. The acting is so well done. Sometimes with just a simple “gaze of the eyes” or soft words spoken and shared between the two, is such an incredible experience. The love we are seeing is what I call true love, as it encompasses the entire being..spiritually, emotionally and physically, with each always thinking about the other before themselves. I have laughed and cried just as much during this drama. Jang Hyuk’character Gun has made me feel all the emotions he is going through, and Kim Young has made me feel hers as well. Sometimes it becomes so overwhelming I just have to stop everything as I feel I can barely breathe…and the tears fall hard. I know many will never understand this and probably think I am a fool for feeling this way from watching a drama…but what I see in this drama is the reason I love them so much. The unconditional love being shared truly seeps out from the screen into my daily life.

    • youholdthewater | August 28, 2014 at 12:05 pm | Reply

      It’s not foolish at all, friend! I think it’s a very special thing when a piece of media is elevated beyond its purpose of being “entertainment” and becomes a source of pure emotional catharsis. That’s what good art can do for someone – and yes, even the fluffiest of romantic comedies from South Korea can be considered good art.

      And I mean, of course it’s all subjective. What you perceive as a transcendental love story could just be a mediocre time-waster for someone else. But the fact that is has moved YOU and made your life that much better, that’s amazing. Thanks so much for sharing this with us 🙂

  6. sable | August 28, 2014 at 5:11 am | Reply

    I am sorry, but I am a bit tireeeeeeeeeeeeed with this endless melo territory moments,the snail,s pace stink a bit and the show has lost its charm and now is another more melo in K dramas
    RIP cute quirky and funny moments from episode 12 the show is in the middle of nowhere only they save the TITANIC

    • mywebfoot (@mywebfoot) | August 28, 2014 at 6:27 am | Reply

      There’s no need to be sorry, you’re entitled to your opinion. Just like I am going to say that this show has in NO WAY lost its charm. If anything, for me, the charm has INCREASED because it’s so good at tackling a difficult subject.
      I am pretty sure the fluff will return from tonight’s episode onwards, so maybe that will make you happier. 🙂

    • youholdthewater | August 28, 2014 at 6:29 am | Reply

      I can understand that. I was very frustrated with the show during eps 13 and 14 but I managed to find things about it that worked for me. To be perfectly honest, I suspect I might have dropped the show/gotten tired of it much sooner if anybody other than Jang & Jang were our main leads.

      And the main frustration I hear (other than the pace and repetition) is that the two “halves” of the show feel like two different dramas. One brightly coloured, quirky, zany half, and a much more sombre, melancholy, slower-paced half. And ultimately I think it just depends on whether or not this works for you – some people feel like they were promised a quirky romcom and were cheated out of it by the sudden appearance of contrived melodrama. Personally, I just see the Act I and Act II as two sides of a coin – each part serves a purpose and completes a whole. There was a lot of heart and emotion and traces of darkness in Part I, and there are still traces of quirkiness and OTT shenanigans despite the heaviness of Part II.

      But yes, I can understand why the show may no longer be your cup of tea – everyone reacts to stories differently 🙂

      • fiveinone | August 28, 2014 at 6:47 am | Reply

        Yes I understand why people would feel disappointed if a show didn’t go the way they want it to be. But the crux of the issue is actually having that expectation from the get-go. Nobody can get what they want just because they Wish it will happen. It’s like expecting gold at the end of the rainbow, just because you want it to happen so badly, then get ultra frustrated or disappointed because you can’t even find the end of the rainbow in the first place!

        Don’t get me wrong. I get bored with shows easily, I have given up on so many shows I can’t count, but getting disappointed is one emotion I don’t get. however I do respect that it’s anyone’s choice to continue or drop a drama. Because – I don’t expect everyone to have the same opinion as me.

        No matter what others say, this drama is a keeper for me at least… (:

      • mywebfoot (@mywebfoot) | August 28, 2014 at 7:34 am | Reply

        “Personally, I just see the Act I and Act II as two sides of a coin – each part serves a purpose and completes a whole.”

        THIS THIS THIS. Part I gave us the sweet and fluffy, but with Part II the sweet has gone from transient candy floss to rich truffles. Part II gave us supreme angst, but without Part I to remind us what the snail couple lost, the angst would be as shallow as a duck pond in a drought.

      • Curioser and Curiosor | August 28, 2014 at 7:47 am | Reply

        DITTO on

        “Personally, I just see the Act I and Act II as two sides of a coin – each part serves a purpose and completes a whole.”

        YES! 🙂

  7. mywebfoot (@mywebfoot) | August 28, 2014 at 4:26 am | Reply

    Just sharing something I’m reading at the moment. Phyllis Moen writes about her first husband who died of cancer.
    “Arnie taught me much about love and life. But his greatest legacy was
    seeing how thoughtfully he handled dying. We talked about everything, and
    he underscored his confidence in me to ‘‘carry on,’’ raise our children, and build a life without him. His confidence gave me the strength I needed to get
    through the grief and depression that made me want to end my own life as
    well. “

    • Chelsea S (@8ChelseaS8) | August 28, 2014 at 4:37 am | Reply

      OMO, that quote is sad and happy at the same time. I am kind of dreading the next three episodes. At first, I’ve felt that HD was just a plot device to cause the separation, but the writers have taken the disease so seriously, that I don’t know what’s going to happen anymore.

    • Webfoot | August 28, 2014 at 4:39 am | Reply

      Sorry that was ugly formatting and incoherent. Reading that just reminded me of why I don’t think Goen’s HD is a horrible ending. I think it’s hard, yes, and I would love for LG-MY to live happily ever after, but if MY chooses to describe LG like this, I would also be happy. Pretty morose, huh?

    • youholdthewater | August 28, 2014 at 4:47 am | Reply

      Wow. Very beautiful, but more importantly, very very human.

      @dramafan I hope this isn’t too far off topic, but I’d like to add a few of my cents re: terminal/chronic illnesses and caretakers. My aunt was diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer in her late 40s – she was unmarried, had no children, but she kept the diagnosis a secret from my grandmother and a few other family members because she didn’t want to burden or worry anyone. If it had been up to her, she would have simply checked herself into a hospice and secretly received treatment there. Money was no issue for her. But eventually the physical symptoms became too obvious to hide (hair loss, weight loss, vomiting) and she had to come clean and quit with her very own IRL one-woman noble idiot campaign.

      My mom and I moved in with her to look after her during her last 4-5 months of life. She was bedridden, and weak, and as her family and her caretakers it was very,very, very difficult to watch a loved one deteriorate into a shell of their former self. But there were a lot of good things alongside the pain too – we could spend essentially the whole day with her. She was able to talk to us about her fears and hopes, things she was proud of and the things she still wished she had time to accomplish. We were with her when she drafted her final will, when she picked out the clothes she would be wearing at her own funeral, the hymns and readings that would be used in church. She got to choose the person who would write her eulogy (me). With our presence and support, she was able to prepare for her own death and get the kind of emotional support she had been determined to deny herself. And we were able to mourn her departure long before it actually happened. We grieved later, of course – no amount of prior knowledge can truly prepare you for that kind of loss. But there was a sense of fulfillment too – that we were able to spend her last days together, draw strength from each other, make peace with the inevitable.

      I certainly hope our Geon and Mi Young and the shadow of the Huntington’s Disease dangling over their heads won’t lead to quite so dark an ending. But rather than dismiss the HD as a complete misdiagnosis and going all, oops, guess it was never really a problem after all! I would be a lot more accepting of a more bittersweet turn on the usual happily-ever-after. His symptoms have been dormant all this time after all, but Mi Young choosing to be with him – and him allowing her to be with him- despite the Huntington’s, because of the Huntington’s, regardless of the Huntington’s, whatever. Her CHOOSING to be with him, knowing full well what pain and tribulations are potentially awaiting her, but determined to make the absolute best of the time they DO have? That would work for me, mostly because it has already worked for me in real life.

      • mywebfoot (@mywebfoot) | August 28, 2014 at 6:24 am | Reply

        Thank you for sharing that. That’s exactly how it should be, I feel. I think many dying people worry more about the ones they are leaving behind than about themselves.
        I also love that she gets to CHOOSE. Finally. As Curio says above “LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!!”

      • Curioser and Curiosor | August 28, 2014 at 7:42 am | Reply

        May your Aunt’s soul, and the souls of your family be at peace, my friend.

        Oddly, I do not find that way of departing from this life morose. We must all go and to me it sounds wonderful that you were all there to bid farewell – you to her and her to you.

        I cannot imagine the pain of such a long parting and final loss, but it sounds like you all lighted the way readily with the light of love in being together.

      • Noble_ood | August 28, 2014 at 4:26 pm | Reply

        Thank you for sharing your story with us. I made the mistake of reading this with Beethoven playing in the background, like that wasn’t sad enough.
        May your aunt rest in peace. I hope this is the last time you have to endure something this painful. Also glad you got to be with her through that difficult time.
        I hope watching FTLY doesn’t open your wound, and I wish you (and to all of you fellow fans) a happy life.

      • youholdthewater | August 28, 2014 at 5:28 pm | Reply

        Aww you guys. Thank you all so much for the kind words and thoughts and prayers.

        @mywebfoot – You’re right, noble idiocy is very conflicting in the sense that it’s born out of love and concern (which IS noble in one sense) but it is also a tremendously selfish thing to do (withholding information, making decisions on someone else’s behalf, preventing people you love from being a part of EVERY aspect of your life). Geon will see the light soon, I’m sure!

        @noble_ood – I’m glad to report that watching FTLY has been wonderful for me, and the only trauma I’m experiencing is the pain of our OTP being apart! But thank you so much for your kind thoughts.

    • Chelsea S (@8ChelseaS8) | August 28, 2014 at 4:57 am | Reply

      That’s a beautiful quote! Thanks for sharing.

      Honestly, I am a little afraid of the ending. I thought at the beginning that HD would just be a plot device, and it will turn out that he doesn’t have it. While I don’t want that, I have come to accept it because this is kdrama after all. But it really seems like the HD is quite serious, so now I am dreading the next three episodes. While I know we’ll have fluffy moments, I am afraid of one last heartbreak concerning the disease.

      Everyone, love love love your insights. Thank you so much for sharing. It is really making my viewing experience so much richer!

  8. Chelsea S (@8ChelseaS8) | August 28, 2014 at 3:18 am | Reply

    Gosh, I love all your comments. And it’s also making me cry again because this drama is just so beautiful.

    Thank you so much for all your insightful thoughts. I cannot verbalize it the way that you all do, am really loving all the discussion.

  9. Noble_ood | August 28, 2014 at 12:15 am | Reply

    With 3 more episodes to go, I didn’t expect the truth to be out so soon, which makes me worry about whether there’s a final big twist that’ll have them (and us) suffer before we can celebrate the happy ending.

    Gun was at his most desperate state yet. He has been aching for quite some time, it felt like he has used up all the pain in him, and now acts in the blind resolve of someone with suicidal thoughts. We know from the preview that he’ll put up a fight against MY reaching out to him, but I hope that’s the last we see of his foolish attempts.

    MY was more like her true self. She re-read the texts, checked with him on their meaning, and, though rejected with Gun’s cold facade, still managed to see through it and thank him for his support. I’ve missed that MY.

    What a painful satisfaction it is to finally have MY see the whole picture. Some may complain that it all happened in a way that’s too convenient for Gun, and that he should’ve come clean and begged for forgiveness, but let’s remember what we really want at the end of the day, and that is to have them back together, not to see who breaks first or whether Gun apologizes.

    Daniel and Sera scored some points at last, and we wish them happiness away from our snails.

    The Gunnie tapes were a friendly reminder that FTLY can always find a way to break us to pieces. I have given up control of my lacrimal glands to Jang Hyuk. Give the man the Daesang already !

    • youholdthewater | August 28, 2014 at 1:22 am | Reply

      The Gunnie tapes were a great touch, and more importantly, not a contrived one. We’ve seen the camera/projector since day one, we already know Geon loves making recordings and then watching them as he mourns over the misery that is his life (seriously it’s like the cosmos is out to get him). And we’ve seen Mi Young wander into the mancave and accidentally play a tape before, too. It was all beautifully set up.

      And I agree with you re: the need for Geon to come clean or grovel for forgiveness. I love him too much to be objective, but I believe a lot of people are still angry at him over the so-called noble idiocy in ep 12 and want to see him suffer for it. And I get it, I do – what he did back then was tremendously frustrating. But allowing us to see so much of his POV in act 2 of the show (the mancave, the conversations with Dog Poopie), and letting us watch the tapes for the first time with Mi Young – I think it’s a way to show us that he’s suffered enough for his decision. That he’s been grieving and hurting and has spent the last 3 years holed up in a dark room filled with memories of a very painful past, and that he hasn’t been able to move on. And what’s left is for Geon to realize that him making decisions on MY’s behalf has done more harm than he knows, and to acknowledge that Mi Young has a say in all this. He’s been a monumental fool, but I’m very ready to cut him some slack.

      • Drama Fan | August 28, 2014 at 1:31 am | Reply

        Exactly. He doesn’t need to pay. He needs to realize. Its very simple. Mi Young should throw his own words at him. During his proposal rehearsal he was telling Se Ra he wanted to share her good moments and also her bad moments. Mi Young should tell him the same. If Geon ever tells her “Please, stop! You are making it hard for me to let you go” She should say “When did you become so selfish Lee Gun ssi? What about my heart?…”

      • Curioser and Curiosor | August 28, 2014 at 2:57 am | Reply

        This discussion is quite wonderful! All of it – quite wonderful! You both shed light on one Geon’s best qualities which has also become his Achilles heel; his sense of responsibility.

        Do you remember how in the first Lee family elders’ meeting, Chairman Wang tried to reassure them all by describing how “without his sense of responsibility… he is just a shell of a man.”? That declaration by the grandmother who raised him stayed with me (how could it not, after that shampoo CF performance art intro!?), and I remembered it every time Geon made a decision taking responsibility: looking after Mi Yeong in Macau; keeping the baby; marrying Mi Yeong; becoming a good husband and telling Se Ra the truth … The list goes on. He was always in the position of the decision maker, the responsibility taker, the guardian and protector – a position he most likely assumed at a very young age for his mother’s sake.

        And the poor guy saw his mother in Mi Yeong and his heart was crushed just contemplating his wife’s broken, post-collision body, let alone her broken heart from the loss of Gaettongie and, gods forbid, a broken spirit from seeing, caring for, despairing over HIS broken body and mind.
        This story has made Geon’s panic and despair so real for me that all I could do was commiserate.
        But what you say here is exactly right:

        what’s left is for Geon to realize that him making decisions on MY’s behalf has done more harm than he knows, and to acknowledge that Mi Young has a say in all this. He’s been a monumental fool, but I’m very ready to cut him some slack.

        What’s left for Geon is to realize that the wife he loves so dearly IS his companion and his partner in taking responsibility and being trustworthy; that he no longer has to do it all by himself on everybody else’s behalf; that this strange woman really IS a diamond: beautiful, yes, with the brightest star hanging over the wide, sparkling sea of her heart; and also strong beyond reckoning.

        I am glad for the impending stand off between them. An alpha – albeit a kindly one like Geon – still has to be stand up to a challenge before it can recognize, acknowledge, and accept the challenger’s greater strength enough to authorize it and rely upon it. But all’s well because we all know that Mi Yeong can outrun him. 😀

        So let the game of wills begin!

      • youholdthewater | August 28, 2014 at 3:21 am | Reply

        @curioser You always say the most poetic, insightful and accurate things. I can tell I’ll be coming back to read your words (and everyone else’s discussions over the course of the show) long after FTLY has gone off air.
        And @dramafan YES I would love to have some callbacks to Geon’s own words from the show’s first half! I was thinking in particular of Geon’s rehearsed proposal to Se Ra – to let him be with her not just during the easy and happy times, but during pain and hardship too. To be her rock, to allow him to see her both laugh and cry. And how…ironic? Tragically poetic? That while he wanted to ask this of Se Ra, he would deny the same opportunity to Mi Young – to be with him through whatever trials his illness may or may not throw into his path.

        And, @curioser, I love your insight into Geon’s sense of responsibility and taking accountability over everything and everyone – sometimes overriding their own agency, in the case of Mi Young and their separation. His relationship with Se Ra makes a lot of sense in this context – he thrives on being her protector and provider, but from a certain point we could all see that their relationship was possibly too imbalanced to function in a healthy manner – too much give from him, too much take from her. And that same unhealthy dynamic would manifest with Geon + Mi Young too, until and unless Geon understands and accepts that MY is his equal and his partner and is strong enough to walk beside him, not trailing behind him (as he told her in the lobby of the Jang In company offices, once upon a time). That it’s okay for him to expect support from someone else who is willing to give it to him, and that he doesn’t have to spend his life being the rock for everyone else.

        Also I’m sorry if I’ve been posting too much/generally hogging the comments today but by GOD there are just too many feelings right now.

      • fiveinone | August 28, 2014 at 4:09 am | Reply

        You guys talk too much and too fast! Just want to comment, great insights! It’s like peeling onions, the way you all decipher Geon’s personality and character traits. There’s so much layers!

    • Webfoot | August 28, 2014 at 3:24 am | Reply

      Yes LG’s actions do strike me as suicidal. He’s resigning from life and that scares me more than whether MY will come back to him. He’s losing hope. That’s too awful an end for the wonderful character he is.

      Thanks for replies everyone and thanks in particular to DF for this space. Am in meetings and will come back later!

  10. mywebfoot (@mywebfoot) | August 28, 2014 at 12:11 am | Reply

    TOTALLy long essay reproduced from Soompi. Apologies to @dramafan for repeating.

    —
    Only a couple of things to add to all the previous observations. There were so many phenomenal acting moments, but you guys are doing a great job documenting them. All I want to add is that JH and JN OWNED it in this ep. Forever a fan.

    Firstly, from the perspective of someone who writes (fact for a living and fiction for fun), I think the ‘slump’ episodes were necessary. When I write, I totally fear losing the interest of the reader, so I try to make sure things are happening and developments help keep the reader involved. However, what these writers have taught me is that sometimes you don’t need development, you need involvement. I’ve said this elsewhere before, but the difference 4 extra episodes makes from the usual 16 is that there is time to breathe. Time to breathe equals time to explore. So we didn’t get developments in Ep 12 to 16, but we got to understand how the separation has played out for these two. We got to see how they regained balance, but it was merely a handicapped, plastered together existence, more so for LG than MY. We got to see how LG’s plan to minimize MY’s suffering was actually working, if Fate hadn’t thrown them together again via GD’s painting.
    Someone wished earlier that GD would be their guardian angel, and I think, looking back now, that’s what Eps 12 -16 were about. That little painting took on a life of its own, staring at us with mischievous good humour. Thanks to GD, we got to listen to Appa’s inner thoughts. Thanks to GD, Appa got to love Omma the way he wanted to, even if it was behind a mask. And thanks to GD, Omma finally listened with her heart, and not her head. At the beginning of ep 12 I was in the chorus of NOBLE IDIOT YOU. But by the end of Ep 16 I got it. I got involved in LG’s pain. For the first time, I wasn’t a spectator, but I was totally involved in experiencing the hard decisions LG made, piece by piece, one by one. I am applauding these writers, for taking yet another kdrama trope and making it @(#*$ real.

    Secondly, I think the moment I bought into LG’s reasoning and pain was when I decided to take the HD seriously. I know that they haven’t conclusively confirmed it, and like many of you, I didn’t want to get sucked in only to have a ‘gotcha’ at the end when they reveal he is miraculously cured/never had it. However, this week I remember telling myself, what IF, just WHAT IF it’s real. What if this little romcom that doesn’t know it’s a romcom has decided to tackle a wasting disease head on? What if they are crazy enough to make a story about Fleeting Happiness instead of Happily Ever After? I don’t see that as an open-ended finale, by the way. I see that as Life.
    —
    Anyway, the point is this: I started putting myself in LG’s place this week, and asked myself if I had a wasting disease and a 3-5 year timeline to set my life straight, what would I do? The answer is simple – take care of my loved ones. That’s all he is doing. Unfortunately, the moment I got it is the moment LG’s @#()*&$@# pain started resonating, hence the tremendous waterworks this episode.

    So, if the writers keep going the way they are going, let me tell you this: I am looking forward to the last three episodes and I am DREADING them. On the one hand, I am cheering for this brave writing team. On the other hand, if they pull back at the last minute and make his HD a misdiagnosis, I will swear a blue streak bluer than LG’s balls. Ottoke?

    • Drama Fan | August 28, 2014 at 12:18 am | Reply

      Gosh I agree so much with everything you said here! Although I had asked myself the What if! question before. While I dread a bittersweet ending I think they can’t write off his disease anymore. It would make me feel somehow cheated.

    • Curioser and Curiosor | August 28, 2014 at 12:37 am | Reply

      “sometimes you don’t need development, you need involvement”

      Hear, h e A R, H E A R !
      It is positively magical when the writers have the talent AND courage to dare the audience to engage this way; it is magical when the audience lets itself be drawn in by that invitation — a special kind of alchemy goes to work and the greatest of all experiences materializes: Empathy.

      Please let me celebrate the experience of empathy you describe here as exemplary of what I wrote about a couple of weeks ago in the “Pragmatic Altruism vs. Noble Idiocy in 운명처럼 널 사랑해 (Fated to Love You)” http://spqetr.net/archives/1997 . The truly inspiring beauty of the way Geon’s story is told is that it draws us in exactly as you described and then every do gently but persistently, Mi Yeong style, invites us to soften our hearts in the face of another’s suffering, whether we agree with him or not, whether we feel like he could have done better but instead let fear make him foolish and destructive…

      Empathy (oh my goodness, I’m crying again… I’m gonna stop.)

    • youholdthewater | August 28, 2014 at 12:54 am | Reply

      All of this, and all of @curiosor’s words from the top of the comment page as well.

      I was one of those people who was initially taken aback and mildly disappointed with how ~slow~ the second act of the show seemed to be. I wanted fireworks again! Romcom hijinks! Cute OTP moments! What is all this misery and pining and nonsense happening on my computer screen? Then around ep 14 or so I told myself to take a step back and re-evaluate one of the statements I had been making about FTLY from the beginning – that no matter how OTT the characters, how zany the situations they were presented with, the show always felt grounded in authentic emotion. Episodes 12-16 has always stayed true to this. I was just too desperate for Snail OTP skinship to realize this. And like you I’ve been able to appreciate the recent batch of episodes for what they are, and I suspect all this pain is going to make the ending feel so much more rewarding.

      I can even make peace with the pacing – and you make a great point about how slowing things down has allowed us to become involved with these characters rather than simply observing them. I love how the first half of the show felt so breathless and giddy (like the first stages of falling in love, perhaps?). But I also love how the second half has allowed us to keenly feel their pain, even though – as @curiosor rightly points out – we KNOW how this will end. We KNOW they will find each other again. And even in spite of the knowledge that we’re pretty much guaranteed some version of a happy ending, it still hurts.

      And I agree – I very much need the writers to keep taking the Huntington’s as seriously as they have been. It’s more than a plot device that can be conveniently brushed off at this point, because it has dictated so much of what has happened since ep 12. Geon’s fear of simply the POTENTIAL of having this disease is real, and it is paralyzing. And I’m glad that the writers have paved the way for Mi Young to be the one to initiate their reunion instead of Geon. Because to have had Geon be the one to chase MY around and woo her again would have cheapened his decision in ep12. The writers showed us a post-time skip Geon who has apparently made peace with the idea of death, but not to the extent where he can go running after MY again and be all like, “hey guess what I’m not scared anymore so I’ve changed my mind come back”. It would have cheapened the disease, cheapened Geon’s mortal fear of it, and cheapened him as a character in my eyes. So yes, I love that it is MY who seems to be taking the first steps here.

      And I’ve mentioned this before, but I love that Dog Poopie’s loss isn’t just a footnote in the larger scale of things too. That baby is just as present and just as important as he/she was in the first half, and the parents’ grief + guilt isn’t something that is mentioned in passing, either. And I love that MY’s career and her art has been actively used as storytelling tools rather than just as superficial markers of, oh look she’s doing stuff now.

      I’m apprehensive about the upcoming episodes as well, but then I’ve been apprehensive about every upcoming episode since episode 1. I love this show more than I love my hypothetical firstborn, and yet every week I am terrified – TERRIFIED – that the next episode might be the one that finally lets me down (and it never does ❤ ).

      • youholdthewater | August 28, 2014 at 1:08 am | Reply

        Now that I think about it, it’s not Geon’s fear of the Huntington’s or of his own death, really, but his terror about what his symptoms and his illness would do to the people he loves. He may have come to terms with his own suffering and mortality, but never with the knowledge of how it can hurt Mi Young and Dog Poopie. So yes, it’s tremendously fitting and necessary and awesome that Mi Young is making the first steps here, and actively CHOOSING to be with him, Huntington’s or no Huntington’s. Fate brought them into each other’s lives, but only choice can determine whether they stay.

    • fiveinone | August 28, 2014 at 3:04 am | Reply

      (I’m so sad that my long post disappeared as I was typing halfway)

      Anyway, just want to agree with what everyone of you said!! I can’t express my love for act 2 of FTLY enough! (Said this elsewhere before) but I really love love love the pacing of Act 2! I love that it gives us the insights of why these characters behave the way they do, and allow us to be invested in the characters themselves and feel along with them.. their happiness, sadness, pain, anger and everything that makes them so human.

      After all, this is what FTLY is essentially about, a simple story about the journey of 2 people in love. If there’s no Geon and MY, it’s not FTLY. I’ll go as far as saying, if it’s not JH and JNR, I doubt that we will be as involved with these 2 characters through the series.

      Thanks all for all your wonderful wonderful insights. It’s gratifying to find out that there are people out that whose thoughts and feelings totally sync with mine! 😀

  11. mywebfoot (@mywebfoot) | August 28, 2014 at 12:04 am | Reply

    Dear @curiouser (hope you don’t mind the shortening :P)

    yes, that’s exactly how I feel too. Part of the reason I turned to kdramas is that I love how they don’t overuse the smooching scenes, and by restricting themselves that way, they end up with intense, lovely emotions.

    I wrote a ridiculously long essay in Soompi today, and I am going to reproduce it here because, like you, I enjoy the conversations here. It’s different somehow.

    I’ll put it in a separate post to make the replies easier to track.

    Also @youholdthewater – thanks for letting me use the music suggestions. I didn’t even see your reply until just now. I will now subscribe to updates here so that I can see them.

    • Curioser and Curiosor | August 28, 2014 at 12:23 am | Reply

      No problem re name shortening. You can actually call me Curio – my real name [Curio Serand](!) The rest, as you can see, is a serendipitous play on the way it all sounds together… 🙂 Just move the accent and you got yourself an “Alice in Wonderland” name ouroboros. My folks apparently got a kick out of finally getting to play with the family name when they had a child. *O, the crosses offspring are forced to bear!*

      I agree that the atmosphere here is – I don’t know – more conducive to letting thoughts spool out… I look forward to your essay once you post it.

      – Curio

      • Drama Fan | August 28, 2014 at 12:33 am | Reply

        I love your name!!!! It’s so
        original 🙂

      • Drama Fan | August 28, 2014 at 12:36 am | Reply

        And yes guys! Write, write, write all you want! I’d bring you wine and cheese and keep you in this house forever. I just love reading you! Will you keep visiting after Fated to love you? Please don’t abandon me! *DF makes sad Geonni eyes*

      • Curioser and Curiosor | August 28, 2014 at 12:47 am | Reply

        @Drama Fan – “abandon…?” You do recall that yours is a *JANG HYUK* dedicated site, right? As long as His Royal Hyukness’s reign continues, I’mma be up in here like Seol-Hwa trailing after the Dae-Gil. 😀

        [*down, Curio, down!*]
        [*sooo embarrassing sometimes, our Curio…*]

      • youholdthewater | August 28, 2014 at 12:57 am | Reply

        @mywebfoot – No problem! I’ve boomarked the playlist as well, just in case you add more stuff 🙂

        And I agree with everyone else about the atmosphere here – there’s something kind of warm and intimate and lovely about it. Soompi is great but it’s HUGE and moves like a freight train. And Tumblr (*cough*) tends to be very kneejerk-y and reactionary about things. I can never thank @dramafan enough for making this space available to us!

      • fiveinone | August 28, 2014 at 1:53 am | Reply

        Oh oh! Count me in! I love the discussion on this site, always endearing and impactful. So glad I found this site (as I mentioned the first time I visited!)

        Oh and Curio, your name is so unique! Reminds me of Harry Potter (I meant it in a good way as I love the series ^^)

    • mywebfoot (@mywebfoot) | August 28, 2014 at 1:59 am | Reply

      THAT’S YOUR REAL NAME? I am officially jealous. Alice in Wonderland was the definitive book of my childhood, and to have a name that is a phrase in that book… wooo. Even Curio by itself is already cool. You must have very literary parents. Awe-some.

      @DF – I cannot resist sad Goennie eyes. I suggest that post-drama we have some ‘activities’ such as ‘Best LG moments’ or ‘Count the number of WTF eyes that MY makes at LG antics’ 😉

  12. Curioser and Curiosor | August 27, 2014 at 10:40 pm | Reply

    Here we go:

    [I’m not at all like Geon – I ain’t afraid to say it; I have no reason to hide it:]
    I LOVE this show!

    And although I said this elsewhere, I’ll repeat it here — where I think is where, ultimately, it belongs:

    I’m so very glad that the storytellers in this version have taken their time to take us through the pain these two are experiencing. I know that some viewers have been complaining (although I don’t know how serious they are) that it has been too slow since ep 13, since Geon and Mi Yeong’s separation and they have been clamoring for hugs and kisses and impromptu smooches and skinship – anything! I have not really understood the urgency in those cries and part of me wants to believe they were just being overly effusiveness just ’cause… Or maybe the problem is with me; all heady feeling and abstraction and little else [I actually find all the carnality on American TV rather shallow and boring]…

    Anyway, I think it is brilliant that the story is making our hearts hurt along with Geon’s and Mi Yeong’s. If the depth and magnitude of their pain echoes the the depth and magnitude of all that love they did not even know how to express verbally when they were together, imagine just how incandescent their joy will be when they find their way back to each other.

    Anyway, we know that they will find their way back to each other, and because this is a comedy, we also know that all we have to do is wait for them to find their way back to each other and ep. 17 went a long way to giving us a bend in the road. But Geon and Mi Yeong DON’T know this! Isn’t that the cruel joke of life: we live in comedies (or maybe farces) that feel like tragedies and we cannot see our way out of it.

    Because Geon and Mi Yeong cannot see the end, their pain seems endless to them. The genius about this show, and especially the post-separation episodes, is that it manages to MAKE us FEEL that seemingly endless pain right along with Geon and Mi Yeong even though we know it will end. And then today, with ep.17 (and 18 hard on its heels) they also make us feel the warmth of that glimmer of light that is hope a beat and a breath ahead of our fated couple. Just genius!

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