Fated to love you – The Geon and Se Ra situation – thoughts


While making screen caps from ep4, I remembered how much I loved the phone call Geon made to Se Ra. I could feel their love and Jang Huk looked beautiful (of course I had to make a shallow comment) It now breaks my heart because it reminds me that Se Ra exists lol, that Geon loved her and that her return is going to bring a lot of pain.

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There was a long discussion on twitter about how Geon has “betrayed” Se Ra and he deserves to be punished by her. To me, betrayal is a very strong word and he doesn’t need more punishment that what he already got. The mess he is in, is not something he initiated. And the “mistake” of marrying Mi Young, was not ill intentioned. It was also for their baby. Not telling this to Se Ra by phone also has many explanations.

While re-watching episode 4, some things became clear to me. One point people bring up ,in defense of Geon, is that Se Ra, left Geon first. This implies that Geon doesn’t owe Se Ra anything. I disagree. Why? Because Geon did not marry Mi Young due to Se Ra. The two events are unrelated. Geon did not break up with Se Ra, therefore the point becomes a moot one.

While blaming Se Ra is not going to be my way of “defending” Geon, I do have many reasons to think he is not guilty of “betrayal”. Even if Se Ra sees it this way at first, it is not the truth, and we the audience, saw it

Geon was hurt, as was evident by his words to Mi Young on episode 2, the pain that Se Ra gave him is what allowed him to identify with Mi Young, right? But he forgave Se Ra, as he had done many times before.

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Why didn’t he call Se Ra right away? He never said anything, we only saw him brooding in a locker room and we assumed he was “punishing” Se Ra or just hurt (and sorry Geon detractors, but he had a right to be mad, still, I don’t think that was the main reason he wasn’t answering the phone) .  All of this was before he knew Mi Young was pregnant.

When he called her before the wedding he told her “Don’t say sorry, I am even more sorry”. It looks like his overwhelming feeling is not resentment towards Se Ra, but guilt.

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Before that, when he asked Mi Young for marriage he said “I have lost, all my qualifications as a man to Se Ra” This makes it obvious that he feels he wronged Se Ra by sleeping with Mi Young. I don’t even agree he should feel guilty for doing something while drugged. The man was practically raped by those Hamoo guys (I know this is a rom com, but the fact remains) If you think about it, both Geon and Mi Young should go to therapy but anyway, let’s not dwell on that, since the characters apparently accepted this a lot better than some of us did.

Anyway, Geon feels dirty or guilty towards Se Ra before the wedding. He is not yet aware that he was drugged, therefore he blames himself and only himself. I am convinced that the moment he asked Mi Young to marry, he was giving up on Se Ra and thinking of Mi Young as his new parter with whom he would raise a child and possibly make himself love in the future. But his primary reason for marrying Mi Young is to raise their baby.

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Was it a backwards decision? Well, maybe we either have to accept that this is the drama’s universe or maybe korean society is different than ours. But I am told that single mothers still carry a stigma in Korea, therefore Geon did what he had to do. Give Mi Young a status and the baby a father.

Then, he finds out he was drugged. He no longer blames himself. Now he feels “raped” wronged, his life turned upside down by complete strangers. His mistake is in blaming Mi Young, who is as much as victim as he is.

Now that he feels he is not guilty of sleeping with Mi Young, I assume he wants to explain the whole mess to Se Ra. Whether he expects her to understand or not is a different matter and we have no clue about this, but I’m sure that he is hoping to have such a difficult conversation, in person. Not only is it something almost impossible to explain but he was definitely being careful not to upset Se Ra while she was performing, since these are probably her last chances to be the prima ballerina she has fought so hard to be. Geon knows that Se Ra’s career is more important than him.

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His plans with Mi Young changed, now he wants a divorce. But as he becomes convinced that she was also a victim, he’ll be once again torn.

Geon, so far, is full of guilt. He is not the typical self righteous kdrama lead. Yes, he seems paranoid and he has blamed others and at least in regards to the Hamoo guys, he had a right to feel this way. But he has also shown to have a conscience that gnaws at him. He feels more guilt than he should. To me, if a character feels guilty, the story does not need to punish him further for me to get satisfaction. His guilt is enough punishment.

Who knows how Se Ra will take the news? and whether Geon will sway in a way that annoys me or not. But so far, I have been able to understand his situation. I hope the writers keep doing a good job in that sense.

BONUS  – because I love his face

 

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29 responses to “Fated to love you – The Geon and Se Ra situation – thoughts

  1. Am I the only one who actually not touched at all with Gun and Se Ra story. I am not sure but those emotional scenes of them seems rather forced to me. May be cause I didn’t really feel we got enough view of how deep their 6 years relationship was (yes I even can’t call it love). And I guess that is the reason I didn’t care much about this betrayal or no betrayal thing 😀

    • I was touched but only because I felt the acting was good. However, it is true that the focus wasn’t on this relationship so it is easy to let it go for some of us. The story moves fast and I feel like my attention span is even shorter than the character’s lol. I wonder how I’ll feel about this when I marathon watch.

  2. youholdthewater

    If there’s one thing I wish Geon had done, it was for him to have told Se Ra about this mess much earlier. I understand why he chose to delay it, and honestly it’s not the kind of thing I would ever want to be told over the phone either. But the longer he delays it, the worse it will probably reflect on him in Se Ra’s eyes. Having the viewer’s privilege of being able to see and hear everything, I can see Geon as a victim of circumstance and mostly admire the way he and Mi Young have chosen to handle the situation. And while I personally do not see it as cheating (the drugging, the dubious consent, etc), I can also completely understand how Se Ra would feel utterly wronged by everything that has happened.

    The key here is how Se Ra is going to react to the news. Justified anger? Sadness? We already know she feels immensely guilty about leaving Geon in favour of her career, but I don’t think she’s the type of person to just lie down and take the fact that her boyfriend of 6 years chose to marry another woman in her absence. She did nothing to ~deserve~ something like that. And I’ve said this elsewhere but I’ll say it again – I do not want Se Ra to mean or cruel or bitchy to Mi Young (just to make Geon’s choice easier or to turn us against Se Ra). Nor would I want to see Geon slide back into resenting Mi Young and bringing back that cold, distant jerkbutt behaviour from ep 5. This show is incredibly ridiculous and OTT, but the beautiful thing about it is that the four leads are so wonderfully human and real in the way they react to all the zany shit going on around them, and I’d hate to see them get reduced to caricatures to make things more convenient for the plot.

    • I agree with everything you said here. I agree that this is how Se Ra should feel. Especially at first, when she first find out the news which I believe will be dramatic cause this is a drama. She will be shocked, angry and sad. How will she react? I have no idea and I’m so scared lol! I’ve been playing all these scenarios in my head. I agree so much on how this OTT drama is capable of making us feel so much for its characters. And also on not wanting Se Ra to become a caricature. We might or might not sympathize with her but so far she seems like a normal human being. It’ll be more interesting if they keep her like that. This way Geon’s dilemma, which will most likely be one important aspect of the drama won’t feel like something that could be easily solved.

  3. On the other hand, if this had happened to SeRa, does anyone think that she betrayed Gun?

    • If Mi Young had a boyfriend, would we think that she cheated on him?

    • I think, just looking at them, its easier to root for and try to protect Mi Young for example, she has all the makings of an underdog, female, no social or economic power, fragile, cute. Jang Nara makes it impossible to not adore her. I believe she should play a serial killer with that innocent face. Can you imagine? The audience would be so torn lol. Anyway, Geon on the other hand is an easier target to be perceived as the “bad guy”, he carries the stigma of all kdrama chaebols before him, most of them true jerks, he is rich, a man and he is so loud, he appears to be confident and perfectly capable of defending himself. So I’m not surprised that part of the audience and within the drama his feelings are not too “acknowledged”, not even by himself. He is supposed to be “a man”, stronger, smarter, perfect or otherwise he deserves to burn. That or maybe its the prejudice that men are fickle, that their feelings are not as deep as ours, or that they are all players. We are forgetting the fact that this guy, crazy and with a strange fashion is probably still pretty desirable just because of his money, yes, sad but true. And he has never, as far as we know, cheated on Se Ra. He has been loyal to her. So, regardless of what prejudice we might have of men, we should probably try to judge the characters according to their behaviour, not what we assume their behaviour will be. With that said, I reserve the right to change my opinion about Geon depending of his future actions and behaviour. So far, Im pretty ok with him but one should never trust kdramas 100%

  4. I don’t think it’s cheating or betrayal on Gun’s part. Gun and MY are victims under this circumstance. Gun thought he slept with his girl friend. He was looking for SeRa when he was awake. How can this be cheating? Gun and MY agreed to forget the whole thing and both thought they’d never see each other again before leaving Macao. I guess one of the reasons Gun didn’t answer SeRa’s phone was he’s still try to gather himself before seeing or talking to SeRa because of this incident. SeRa is still Gun’s love of his life.

    SeRa might be also another victim here but the Hamu team was responsible for this not Gun. If Gun told her the truth, SeRa could decide what she would do in this relationship. Fortunate or not, since MY is pregnant, the story continues, Gun is taking responsibility for what has been done and making everyone happy but himself.

    • I’d say the one that should be ‘punished’ is the Hamo duo. But since Geon, Mi Young (and Se Ra) are the leads, they get the heavier share. And I won’t stop feeling terrible and sad for them. :\ The situations they are in are not ‘right’, but they’re trying their best to make things work again.

      • I know this Hamoos! grrr Geon’s lawyer tried to make him see their point of view, saying they were fighting how they could. But really, their method was too disturbing. And later on, trying to take advantage of Mi Young’s marriage eewww. They lost me completely

        • They are so proud of themselves, entirely unaware that what they did to Geon and to Mi Young was wrong. And Mi Young’s brother in law practically suggested selling Mi Young in exchange for their soap factory, and then dared to pester her about their jobs. :///

  5. I agree with your synopsis. I do hope that Se ra is understanding when the time presents itself

  6. Well you know how I feel bout Geon’s actions but I’m not exactly clear about your point here. He was set-up, he feels guilty about everything, so therefore he didn’t betray her?

    • He feels guilty, therefore I don’t wish punishment for him. It doesn’t give me satisfaction as a viewer. To me the guilt is enough punishment. And he was feeling guilty about things he didn’t do, in the first place. If he acted self righteously, only thinking of himself and not trying to understand others like most kdrama chaebols I’d say the story needs to give him lessons by punishment. But he hasn’t acted that way. All his actions have been while trying to do the right thing. And I don’t know exactly what you think cause I actually thought you understood why Geon married Mi Young. I wasn’t aware you didn’t see Se Ra’s ambition to be a ballerina is more important than being Geon’s wife and therefore he was trying to protect that she at least accomplishes her most important dream instead of upsetting her with his problems. It was quite obvious on the scene I just highlighted. But you have also expressed you don’t care about Geon. I wrote this for people who care to understand his character. This is after all a blog dedicated to the actor who interprets him so I assume some people will care. I purposely separated the discussion from the episode discussion so non Jang Hyuk non Geon fans don’t get bored with the analysis.

      • Oh I totally understand he didn’t want to ruin Sera’s last chance at her dream and that’s why he stalled, and I understood his marrying MY as trying to do the best for the baby. When did I say that I wasn’t aware of this? And I said I cared less about Geon not that I didn’t care about him at all.

        But I can understand these things and still say that by his decision to marry MY was a betrayal to Sera. However well intentioned that decision was. A betrayal in my book is a violation of trust, and at the very least, I would think that Sera could’ve trusted that her boyfriend wasn’t going to put a ring on someone else finger. Sleeping with MY and getting her pregnant is one thing, and I think those clearly were mistakes beyond his control. But marriage is another matter entirely. He made a choice to put the baby and MY ahead of his relationship & a possible future with Sera, which up until that point, could still hv been salvaged had he taken a step back. From Sera’s point of view, and it’s her point of view I take, that would be a betrayal. And to me, it really doesn’t matter whether he feels guilty or sad, or that he was trying to do his best, because good people can betray the ones they love too.

        But we can agree to disagree.

        I really question how Geon became a successful CEO coz he hasn’t exactly shown the best decision-making skills especially under pressure. He’s totally ruled by his emotions, at least in his personal life!

        • I don’t see how he could’ve dealt with the situation a lot better, given his circumstances to be honest. I can see why Se Ra might think he betrayed her at first. But Im not Se Ra. I am a viewer and I have the privilege to have seen more than her. Therefore I’m not going to going to judge him harshly until he does something that merits it.

          • I am harsh on Geon aren’t I? It’s strange coz he’s the nicest chaebol ever. I just had to delete the rest of my comment cos I remembered not to spoil urk!

        • Oh and my comment about you not caring about Geon is because that’s what you said when I was speculating about his evolution as a character. You said you weren’t too interested in that which I admit, bothered me as a direct response to a question about him. But I understand that the posts discussing the show are meant for fans of the show, not Geon, so I will refrain from focusing on him on such posts in order to encourage a more varied discussion. However, outside of those posts I probably will focus on him because I’m most interested in him and the target of my blog is Jang Hyuk fans so it’s only natural. I hope you understand.

          • Oh dear, I must’ve given you the impression that I wasn’t happy to read bout Geon?? I’m happy to read bout Geon and furthermore, it’s your blog and you can certainly to whatever you wish and & I wouldn’t dream of telling you what you can or cannot do here!

        • People who handle their professional life better than their personal life are not uncommon in fiction or real life. Look at Clinton :/

    • And lastly, if he was forced into a situation I really don’t see how this is betrayal.

      • Actually I don’t see it as a betrayal, but cheating is cheating. He got another woman pregnant, that’s an act of cheating no matter how not in control is he of the situation. If sera choose to forgive him, it will be a testimony to her love for him. (Seen so many real life cases of ppl forgiving their cheating partner, so this is not far fetched no matter how I don’t agree).

        Then again, I wish the writers make her a heroine of her own right. Break off with Geon n show that she can live without him.

        As much as I dislike that Geon is two-timing (he married without breaking off with his gf), I think I’d rather he took up the responsibility for the child rather than leave the mother of his child to fend for herself. His softheartedness is what is redeeming for me. Just crossing fingers that he will show the maturity to deal with the 2 women in his life n know what is the most important to protect.

        • Not cheating either if you are not conscious of the act. Image a girl gets date raped and then her boyfriend says she cheated on him. Would that be fair? I see some people tend to judge men more harshly than they judge women. I don’t agree with that. If he was drugged then there is no cheating.

  7. Love reading Ur insights. I was scratching my brain why he wouldn’t tell sera that he’s married. I, for one, would rather know the truth n be hurt than to not know it n find out myself n be hurt more.. I guess it makes sense if he was considering for her performance.

    Just worried if he would try to drag things out n hurt 2 women in the process. Writers-nim pls surprise us!

    • I would want to know the truth. But I have this feeling, he really thinks he is second to her career. He probably thinks, she might or might not forgive me or believe I was trapped, depending on that our relationship might or might not continue, but on top of that, it is quite obvious he doesn’t want to also ruin her dream which to Se Ra is her life. He still loves her, or at least the image of her. But Im sure that when he decided to marry Mi Young he had given up on Se Ra, in great part because he didn’t feel worthy of her.

    • Also, triangles are like that. People hurt. But it’s up to all parties, how they tolerate, push or pull. The person in the middle is perceived as the bad guy but that’s a simplistic way of seeing things. At least in my opinion. And in this particular case, the person in the middle was pushed into this situation. If he continues to assume his responsibilities and as long as he doesn’t blame the wrong people, like he did with Mi Young, I’ll be ok with him.

      • Hmmm, I don’t know. Besides being mean to MY I actually think it’s worse to want both girls, n end up everyone is hurt. My head hurts to think what this will spiral into.. but I’ve decided to have faith in the writers n PDs. *cross fingers*

        Agree about the part when he decided to marry he had given sera up, but people are fickle. Geon, pls prove me wrong!

        • He so far doesn’t want Mi Young as a woman in his head. We know he is falling and getting jealous but he doesn’t and to him, he is protecting the mother of his child. If, he continues being responsible for his child and fauthful to Se Ra, in case Se Ra accepte his situation then there is still no reason to blame “him” for their suffering. Plus it doesn’t have to be about what he wants (so far, what he wants has not been the reason for conflict in the drama. He is not in this situatuon cause he decided to “love” two women) The women can also make decisions. Mi Young has another guy interested in her.

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